Music and Emotions

I love music. So much. I love to play the piano, I love to sing (it still scares me in front of a large audience, but I enjoy it), I just love to listen to music All. The. Time.! I'm constantly looking for songs that explain how I feel or how I'd like to feel I suppose.

I think a lot of people do this same thing. Music just has a huge effect on us and our emotions. And so I think when most people get out of a relationship they find all the songs about how the guy broke the girl's heart, she's so angry about it, etc....In fact I have distinct "I really really don't like you songs" (*Note* I didn't say hate!) ....for every guy I've broken up with. I mean what heartbroken girl doesn't love "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift or one of my favorites "Settle down" by Cartel?! Anyway, I have one of these songs for every guy....except Garrick. I don't know if you can even say we "broke up," we weren't boyfriend/girlfriend, but you get it! I'm not sure why I'm not finding the comfort in the "I really really don't like you songs," I think it's because Garrick never did anything wrong to me. He was always so kind, he never did anything to hurt me. He cared about me...I knew the first night he came to have our serious talk that I was supposed to go on a mission. I knew that was right for me. How can I be so selfish as to have Garrick fall in love with how amazingly cool I am and then say, "Okay...see ya later!" :) That's assuming he would fall in love with me...we're just going with it :)

I ran into a lady, named Julie, who I met through Garrick. A man that Garrick baptized on his mission, named Tamakah, was dating Julie's daughter Marci, so we stopped at Julie's house one night to pick up Marci when Tamakah was in town. I don't know why, but Julie just loved me the moment she saw me. She loved Garrick and I together I suppose, but she made sure that Garrick brought me to her daughter's wedding reception on May 20th (her other daughter...not Tamakah and Marci). Anyway...I ran into Julie at Bed Bath and Beyond this past week and I told her Garrick and I weren't dating anymore. She said that was too bad, but probably better for my mission. I agreed with her, and then she said something that really struck me. "One day you will thank him." ....I thought that was so interesting. She's right. My mission is going to be amazing. I'm going to learn SO much. I'm going to meet so many incredible people that I will love for the rest of my life. I'm going to learn Tagalog. I'm going to live in a foreign country...all on my own without my family...just counting on the Lord. I am going to LOVE it! I believe Garrick prayed about us a lot. He told me he did. I think he followed the spirit to tell me that he shouldn't date me anymore. Now some people might be thinking...come on Amy....he doesn't want to date you...deal with it...don't sugar coat it to make yourself feel better. Well whatever, yeah there could've been other things too, but I know Garrick's very in tune with the spirit and so that's what I feel. I know that if I would've continued to date him I'd want to go on my mission less and less. I wouldn't want to focus on studying cause I'd rather focus on him! I'd get to the MTC and not want to be there. I do thank Garrick for not wanting to get in the way of my mission because I know it's what I need. Part of me can't help but think....maybe he'll be here when I get back. I really wish I'd stop thinking that cause I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, but you never know. If he's not, I know there will be someone amazing looking for me.

But anyway, back to the music....I have surprisingly heard so many cute love songs lately that I just can't get enough of them! I'm pretty sure that's weird for someone who just got out of a relationship. But the songs just make me smile. Life's good so why listen to music that just brings you down more and more?! Enjoy life!!

This is one that I am particularly obsessed with: Kissin' U by Miranda Cosgrove